If You Ever Came Back
by Bsalvatore
Summary: After not having Damon or Stefan in her life for three months Elena realizes how lost she is without them. When Damon returns she starts to realize how much Damon truly means to her. Can Elena admit those feelings to herself or will she be hide from them.
1. Chapter 1

Its been three months. Three months since I've seen them, since I've held Stefan in my arms or bickered with Damon. Three months of emptiness and longing.

"Elena. Elena!"

I looked up to see Alaric towering over me, his chiseled face showed a look of pity. "Sorry ." As I glanced around the room I noticed all of my classmates had filed out and I was the only student left. This wasn't the first time my daydreams of the Salvatore brothers had captured my full attention. "It won't happen again." I promised while shuffling papers into my bag.

"Wait, stay." Alaric took the seat in front of me and scratched his head. "Its been over eight weeks Elena, you need to move on."

"Are you kidding? You should not even begin to lecture me on how I need to move on. If I'm not mistaken you're still hung up on your vampire wife." I replied bitterly.

Alaric winced at my harsh words and gave a deep sigh. I wished I hadn't brought that subject up but whenever someone mentioned the Salvatore brothers I got defensive. "You're right. I shouldn't have said that. You have to understand that they left to protect you Elena, to keep you alive. I know it's hard, but they had to go."

Three months ago Klaus had come to town and well, long story short the only way to ensure my survival was to have Damon and Stefan far away from me. Klaus thought that Katherine had been killed by Stefan and that Katherine was now me which is why I was able to stay in Mystic Falls.

And sure, I was alive, but inside I felt dead. I had lost my parents almost a year ago and now the two people that had helped me out of that depression were gone.

Stefan had promised to keep me posted here and there to assure that he was safe as well, but I had received nothing. Him, Damon, Katherine - they were all out there somewhere leaving me in the dark. I didn't care about Katherine being gone one bit, but sometimes wondered if Stefan was tempted by her. They did have a steamy past.

The bell rung and I got out of my chair to head to science. Alaric quickly wrote me a pass and I slumped to the other side of the school. It had been clear to everyone that the leave of Damon and Stefan really affected me. My grades dropped, I never wanted to go out. Without Bonnie and Caroline in my life I think I would have gone crazy.

I decided to stop at my locker, I wasn't ready to sit through a forty five minute lecture about the periodic table.

I never thought I'd become like this again. I thought once those two brothers were in my life I would never go back to being depressing, boring Elena.

x-x-x

The rest of the day went by in a blur, I couldn't even remember what had gone on in any of my classes.

While searching through my bag for the car keys Caroline came up behind me and gave me a squeeze. "Hi Elena." She said perkily. "How was your day?"

"Uneventful."

"Oh." Caroline's smile weakened when she heard my unenthusiastic answer. "Want to go to grill later? I just need to feed, but after we can get dinner. Maybe Bonnie and Matt could come along?"

"Sure Caroline. I have to get home." I told her once I found my keys and quickly started the car. I waved good bye to a defeated Caroline and headed out of the lot.

While I was stopped at the red light something came over me, something felt ... different. When the light turned green, instead of making my usual left I kept going straight. I needed to go the Salvatore's house. After the two brothers left I had gone there for two weeks straight, but soon it got to the point where I couldn't be there without breaking down.

I needed to be there though, it'd been two long till I held something of Stefan's or flipped through one of Damon's many books. I arrived at their gorgeous brick mansion and felt a wave of familiarness wash over me. It felt good to be back.

Pushing the massive door open, I took a long breath hoping to keep my emotion intact.

Instead of entering to a room of emptiness, a hand pushed me against the wall and clasped their hand around my neck. For a few seconds I couldn't breath, I didn't even know who was attacking me.

"Elena ... Oh my god. I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry."

After collapsing to the floor I looked up into those green eyes. Those green eyes that I had longed to see for three months. "Damon ..." My voice came in a hoarse whisper as Damon stroked my cheek.

"I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't." My mouth curled into a smile and I reached for his hand.

Damon quickly backed away and a worried look crossed his face. "Why are you here?" His tone had now shifted into anger.

"Why-Why am I here?" I got up and glared at him. "Why are _you_ here?"

Hanging his head in his hands, Damon paced back and forth. "You weren't supposed to see me."

"So you were just going to leave without saying hi to me. I haven't seen you or Stefan in over three months and you weren't even going to visit me!" I yelled at him and inched closer. "Please tell me that's not true. You were going to see me, right?"

Damon shook his head no.

I inched closer and closer. "You haven't been in Mystic Falls for over _three months_, you realize that, right? I've been waiting for a letter, a sign, anything that you guys were okay. That you realized I still existed." My nose was practically touching his chest now and I was ready to explode with anger.

"Elena ..." Damon placed a hand gently on my shoulders and wiped a tear from face. I hadn't even been aware that I was crying. "Of course we realize you exist. Do you really think we could forget a girl like you? I mean we're not that shallow." He grinned with that devilish grin he always wore and backed away when I went to hit him. "Hey, don't hit me."

"You deserve to be hit."

"Hmm, that sounds kind of kinky."

"Damon!" I yelled and sat down on the couch. "Please be serious."

With a slump of his shoulders Damon sat beside me on the couch. "Okay." He told me as that same worried expression appeared on his face.

Without thinking I embraced Damon and held on tight. I never wanted to let go. "Please don't leave me again. Please Damon. I need you."

I felt Damon's hands wrap around me as well and I knew that he missed me just as much. "Elena ..."

"Please Damon. It's hard enough to not have Stefan here. To not have you as well, it's killing me." I felt Damon flinch when I said Stefan. I pulled back and looked into Damon's eyes. "Is Stefan okay?"

"Yes Elena, he's fine."

"Why isn't he here?"

Damon smacked his lips together and played with the watch on his wrist. "A week ago Klaus caught up to us. We had to split up. Stefan had to go off somewhere with Katherine, but I have no clue where they are. It's too risky to communicate ... I came back here hoping to find some signal that they're okay."

My head felt dizzy and I had to balance myself. What if Stefan was hurt? It would be all my fault. There was still so much about him that I wanted to know. And why was he alone with Katherine? She could easily manipulate him.

"You look pale. Do you want some water?"

"No, I don't want water."

I had so many questions in my head, so many worries.

As nervous as I was about Stefan's well being right now I had to beg Damon to stay with me first. "Damon, please, promise me you won't leave." ...


	2. Chapter 2

Damon looked at me, his green eyes fixated on mine. "Do you realize how hard it is to say no to you?" A grin spread across his handsome face.

"Wait, so this means-"

"Yes Elena, I'll stay." Damon assured me. "But, if there's one sign that my being here is a danger to you or that Klaus has found out Katherine isn't you then I'm leaving. Okay?" Damon's face became so serious that it sent chills down my spine.

I shook my head yes and couldn't help but smile. "You don't understand how happy this makes me Damon. I mean it."

"I'm so sorry Elena."

"For what?" I asked with confusion.

"For leaving. I know that not having Stefan in your life must have been really difficult for you. When I thought Katherine had died, well, it sucked." Damon grimaced when he mentioned said her name. "He loves you, you know that, right?"

"Why do I feel that you're saying that more to yourself than to me."

Damon quickly glanced at the floor and got off the couch. I could tell something was on his mind, that there were things he wasn't telling me, but right now I didn't want to worry about that. I finally had a Salvatore brother back in my life.

And even though I would have preferred if Stefan was the one to show up, I wasn't going to complain about having Damon back. We had our rocky past, but in the end we both cared about each other.

"I just feel bad that we never contacted you. Stefan wanted to, but it was too dangerous."

"I get it Damon and as much as I'd like to get all the information and details from you ... well, to be honest I've been waiting for this moment for three months. I just want to enjoy it right now before I have to go back to worrying about all the vampire and witch stuff."

Damon laughed and collapsed into the brown leather chair. "Okay Elena, what would you like to do then?"

"Well, I've gotten pretty good at pool. I think I actually have a chance at beating you."

"Oh, you're silly."

"Yeah?"

"Yes Elena."

x - x - x

After three games of pool it was clear that I would never be able to beat Damon. His steady hand and precise eye was a skill that no human could ever obtain.

The grill was just starting to get packed with the usual dinner crowd. I scanned the place to see if Caroline had shown up, but she was nowhere in sight and a feeling of guilt sat in my stomach. Caroline had been trying so hard to keep me happy and I had done nothing in return but sulk. I made a mental note in my head to repay her in some way.

"So, what's next?" Damon asked as he came over to my side carrying a glass of whiskey. "I know it's a school night and all, but think you've got another hour in you?"

"It's only six o'clock. I've got another three hours in me."

"Alright Elena." Damon laughed and hung his arm around me. "Do you want to eat?"

"Yeah, I'm starving." I said when I finally realized I hadn't eaten since lunch time.

After taking a seat at the bar and ordering their infamous hamburger, I watched as Damon finished his glass of whisky. "Another one." He informed young bartender and gave her a sly smile. "So Miss Gilbert. This is not very much not like you."

"What?"

"The Elena three months ago would have bombarded with me with a million questions. You've barely asked about Stefan's safety, haven't even brought up the fact that Stefan is alone with Katherine at this very second, and-"

"Okay! I got you point!" I practically screamed at him with my hands curled into fists. Taking a deep breath I shook my head with frustration. "I don't think you understand Damon, not having either of my in life was horrible. Everyday was I not only worried about Stefan's safety, but yours as well. Everyday all I did was wonder where you guys were, if Katherine was keeping her hands off Stefan, if you guys would ever return and well, now that you're here ..." I stopped as Damon reached for my hand. "Just for one day, even just for an hour, I want to spend this moment enjoying my time with you. Away from the worry, away for all those things that I have to deal with in the morning."

Damon bit his lip and brushed a piece of my hair back. He looked like a puppy dog who knew he did something wrong. I felt sad just even seeing that guilty look on his face. "You're right. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up."

"It's fine." I concluded as the bartender placed the glass of whiskey in front on Damon. Before he could reach for the glass I took it and had a long sip. "I needed that." I laughed as Damon's mouth stood agape.

"I missed you Elena, I really did."

"I know."

The rest of dinner went by with Damon and I engaging in light talk. I told him about Mystic Falls, not that much happened. Once I finished my dinner Damon glanced at his watch and paid the bill for me. "We're going to have to cut this night short, I have a few things to take care of. Your car's still at my house ... I could either drive you home now and pick you up in the morning or-"

"That's perfect." I told him and we filed out of the restaurant.

I scanned through the radio stations as Damon swiftly pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards my house.

Grinning out the window, I realized just how much happier I was. It was as though I was a completely different person. For the first time in months I wasn't thinking about when I could go home or what was happening to the Salvatore brothers. I was just embracing the moment.

"Here we are." Damon unlocked the car once he pulled into my driveway.

"What do you have to take care of?"

"I'm just going to stop by Alaric's."

"And you'll be here in the morning?" I asked, the worry in my voice evident.

Damon smile and cupped his hands around my head. "I'm not leaving Elena. I'll be here in the morning." He kissed my forehead and then retreated back into his seat. "Goodnight Elena."

"Goodnight." I said before shutting the door and watching his car drive away.


	3. Chapter 3

"Where's Elena and what have you done with her?" Jenna asked jokingly while wrapped in a heavy blanket. She sat in her favorite chair watching a Lifetime movie. Her hair was tangled and she looked as though she'd just woken up.

"Jenna." I rolled my eyes and sat on the armrest. As hard as I as tried I could wipe the goofy grin off my face. "What? I can't smile."

Jenna's eyes lit up and her mouth stood agape. "Is ... is Stefan back?"

"Uh, well, no." I told her and ran my fingers through my hair. "Damon's back."

Jenna's excited expression now turned into one of hesitance. She never liked Damon and I didn't she ever would. I couldn't blame her though, Damon was anything less than likable to someone who wasn't hooked on his looks. On more than several occasions he had tried to kills my friends along with my innocent brother.

People just didn't understand him though. He had been through so much. I couldn't deny he was dangerous, but I knew he would never hurt me. He loved me.

"Is that such a good thing? Damon left to ensure your safety and now he's back? What is Klaus-"

"Stop, please." I told with defiance.

"Where's Stefan? Why is Damon here and not Stefan?" It was obvious Jenna would have rather Stefan be the one that was placing this grin on my face.

After the whole Klaus diabolical, I had finally revealed everything to Jenna. At first she didn't believe, even assumed I was under drugs, but after a week or so she came to accept it.

"Jenna, seriously." I shut her up. "Tomorrow Damon will inform me on everything. All I know is that Klaus is still on the search for me - well, Katherine, and Damon being here is not dangering me at all." I rested my hand on her shoulder to calm her. "Damon even said that the moment he thinks being here will cause danger, he'll leave."

I could tell Jenna wasn't buying this yet. "Elena ..."

"Look at me. I'm actually smiling!" I got up and gave steadied my eyes at her. "Please don't take this happiness away from me. I have so many things to worry about, I get that, but I finally have a Salvatore back in my life." Taking a deep sigh I willed myself to remain calm. "After loosing my parents, well, I thought I'd never get over, but then they came along. Soon enough they left too and that killed me Jenna. But they- he's back. Please don't take this away from me."

Jenna got off the chair and wrapped her arms around me. "You're right. I'm sorry."

I had gotten too many sorries today, I was sick of people tell me that. "It's okay Jenna." I said with annoyance and backed away. "I'm exhausted. Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"Of course."

Heading up the stairs I fell on the bed and reprimanded myself for getting feisty with Jenna. She didn't deserve my rashness.

x - x - x

I shuffled down the stairs, my eyes half shut from sleep depravation after experiencing multiple nightmares. Most of them consisted of Stefan with Katherine while the others of Klaus hurting Damon and Stefan.

"The princess has arrived." A satisfied looking Damon was perched on one of the kitchen stools while Jenna stood over the stove. "You know your aunt here really has a way with the kitchen."

Jenna spun around and gave Damon a nasty look. It surprised me that Jenna wasn't even the slight bit afraid of Damon's being for he was a vampire.

"You know ... when you have kids, you can definitely go under the category of MILF."

"Damon!" I practically jumped down the stairs and punched him lightly in the arm. I gave him a testy look and watched as Jenna rolled her eyes.

After placing two pieces of almost burnt toast on a plate, she handed me the butter and I quickly downed my breakfast. "Okay, let's go." I wiped my mouth and grabbed my school bag. "Bye Jenna."

"Bye." She sighed with reluctance and gave Damon one more hard glare.

"Someone does not like me." Damon sang-song while he got inside the car.

"Can you blame her?" I questioned after snapping the seatbelt into place.

Damon expertly sped around the driveway and backed out in a matter of seconds. "I was thinking you could come over after school today to get your car and we can talk about everything."

"Okay." I agreed and turned my phone on wondering if Caroline had showed up to the grill after I left. I wouldn't be surprised if she hadn't noticed my absence. Recently her and Matt seemed to be inseparable. "You will tell me everything though, right? No lies? No beating around the bush?"

"I know that you're not ten Elena. I completely understand that you're capable of handling everything I have to tell you."

I grinned at Damon and squeezed his hand while the car was stopped at a light. "Thanks." I told him and we shared a moment of understanding.

I loved that Damon treated me equally. Sometimes I felt that Stefan kept me in the dark too often.

After pulling up to the school I sighed with disappointment that the car ride was over. I wanted to stay with Damon. My fears of him leaving still sat in the back of my mind and I wished that Klaus could just disappear for good.

"Elena, look at me." Damon ordered as we pulled up to the school. I did as I was told and saw that Damon had taken a tone of seriousness. "What did I promise you the other day?"

"Uh, that you wouldn't leave."

"Exactly. I'm not a liar. I'll be here when you're done." Damon broke into a smile. "Stop looking like I'm going to take off the second you leave me."

My cheeks warmed up to a pink and looked away from Damon's stare. "I know, I know." I got out of the car and poked my head through the window. "See you later."

"Elena! Elena!" Caroline caught up to me in the hallway and practically did a double take when she saw my face. "Wait, hold on a second." She stopped me in the middle of the hallway not giving any regards to the people around us. "If I'm not mistaking you're actually wearing make up. And you're face, it's still capable of showing emotions other than sadness! Who knew?" Caroline giggled and pulled me in for a tight hug. "Let me guess? They're back. Why hasn't come to see me yet!" She asked with a little hurt in her voice.

After Caroline transformed into a vampire, her and Stefan had created a tight bond. "Stefan's actually not back, it's Damon who is."

"Oh. Really?" Caroline's voice didn't her surprise and she saw my mouth drop slightly. "I'm so glad he's back! It getting a little lonely being the only vampire in town." She clasped my hand and we walked down to science. "We should celebrate. Come out to dinner with me and Matt. Bring Damon."

"You really would want to go out to dinner with Damon?" I questioned her suggestion.

They had a very rough past and I still wondered if Caroline could get over the fact that he practically abused her. That was the old Damon though, I felt plenty confident that he would never do that again.

"Of course Elena. Seeing how happy his return has made me means the world me to me." She let go of my hand as we entered the classroom.

Taking a seat in the back I thought over the idea. "Okay, I'd like that." I kind of missed hanging out with Caroline and Matt, well, the happy me missed hanging with them. "Is seven good?"

"Perfect."


	4. Chapter 4

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!

And yes, I realized that I made the mistake of calling Damon's green instead of blue and I'll trying to get around to changing that.

[there's some cursing in this chapter]

I sat on the Salvatore's couch attempting to study, but Damon's presence was very distracting. Every time he even made the slightest move I would glance up and see him captivated in the book he was reading. It was extremely frustrating.

"Elena, you know I'm not going to tell you what happened until you finish studying." Damon glanced up from his book for the first time since we sat down which had to be about forty minutes ago.

"Damon!" I whined and angrily shut the heavy history textbook. "You promised." I puckered out my bottom lip and Damon let out a giggle.

"You got me roped into dinner with those gushy blonde kids." Damon raised his eyebrows and went back into his book.

My eyes narrowed at him and I cringed with annoyance. Getting up, I sat on top of his lap so that he wouldn't be able to read. "First of all, Caroline needs another vampire around. She's still having trouble adjusting-"

"You were the one that was against killing her." Damon sung-song under his breath and I punched him in the arm. "Alright! Sorry. Go ahead."

"I'd really like it if you could talk to Caroline, help her through it. Stefan was the one that was there for her and now that's he not here, well, maybe you can step up to the plate."

Damon's eye became serious and he nodded with understanding. "Does Matt know about her change?"

"No, but this dinner means a lot. If you can just get along with them I'd really appreciate it Damon."

Taking a deep breath, Damn shrugged his shoulders. "For you? I guess..." He smiled mischievously and slung his arm around my neck.

I grinned and settled more comfortably in his lap. "Now will you please tell me about Stefan and everything that happened?"

If anything I was nervous to hear what happened. I was nervous that Damon would admit that Stefan had fallen in love with Katherine once more or that he was hurt. I was nervous that Stefan hadn't sent a letter because he had forgotten about me.

"Okay." Damon placed his book and the side table and stroked my hair. "Well, once we left we headed straight for Texas. For about three weeks we just stayed hidden until Isobel came and found us."

"Isobel found you?"

"Yes. She warned sent us some cryptic message about Klaus. Something about him and Elijah. Long story short we couldn't decipher it, but either way we knew that if Isobel could us, Klaus could. That's when we headed to London. After a few days of staying there we thought that sending you some signal we were okay would be a good thing to do until Katherine somehow managed to talk Stefan out of it."

"That bitch." I bitterly spat which got a look of surprise from Damon. "Continue."

"Well, I don't know what she said, but Stefan insisted that didn't. He went on to explain how if Klaus found that note if could ruin everything our plan had succeed in doing. Soon tension started running high. Spending a month there with Katherine was practically torture for me. Her mind games, they were unbearable. So I left."

"What do you mean you left?"

"I went to Hawaii." He laughed. "I needed to get away from that miserable monster. I don't know how Stefan was able to handle her so well. She was little sweeter to him, I sometimes think she just wanted me out of there to get close to Stefan." Damon said the last sentence with such furiously that it made me wince. "Don't worry though, nothing happened between the two. Not that I know of ..."

A scared look crossed my face and bit my bottom lip. "Keep going."

"About two weeks ago I thought it was time to head back to London. After a few days of being there Katherine was a little nicer to me, the mind games stopped. Tension wasn't really there. We finally thought that Klaus was off our trail for a while." Damon shook his head. "Of course he comes when you least expect it."

"And then?"

"At the time of Klaus's arrival Katherine and Stefan were out of the house. I had to fight him off myself at first, something that still leaves me sore. I had been able to escape before Klaus had a chance to kill me and I warned Stefan and Katherine to leave hoping that we'd manage to meet up within the next week. But here I am, not able to where they've gone of to."

My eyes were lit with horror and so many scenarios were running through my head. Damon hadn't rid the images of Katherine and Stefan out of my head, if anything he'd sort of edged on the idea that they could be intimate again. But Stefan ... he wouldn't, right?

And let's say nothing happened. Where was he right now? Could Klaus have hurt - even killed - him?

"Elena." Damon grasped my hand tightly. "I promise he's alright."

"How do you know?" I questioned while wiping a tear away.

"I can tell. It's a brother thing." He smiled and pulled me closer into his body.

Sighing, I nestled my head into Damon's chest not wanting him to catch the many tears that were now falling from my face. For the rest of the afternoon Damon and I just sat in the chair, silence only being broken by my quiet cries and Damon's promises that everything would be alright.

x - x - x

"Elena! Over here!" A blonde Caroline stood up and waved her hands. She wore a brilliant smile and look more than ecstatic to see that I had actually shown up.

As we approached the table Matt shifted in his seat and looked extremely uncomfortable. Ever since the two started dating, Matt always seemed to become uneasy when I showed up. We had a very long past and though we both may have been completely over our past relations, I knew that the two of us would always be there for each other no matter what.

"Hello Caroline and Matt." Damon grinned heavily and slid into the booth.

"Damon, it's ... nice to have you back." Caroline settled with a pleasant answer. Elena knew that Caroline despised Damon after what he put her through, but I knew that if Damon tried hard enough he could become a mentor for the petite blonde.

After ordering our meals, the four of us sat there making small talk. It felt a little weird sitting with Matt and Caroline who were obviously head over heels for each other. It seemed as me and Damon were on a double date with the two.

"So, you were in London? That's cool." Matt crossed his arms. "I really want to travel the out of this town some day."

"You will." Caroline grinned up at Matt and gave him a quick kiss.

"One more kiss and I may need to excuse myself from the table." I giggled and stuck a fry in my mouth once the waiter brought over our meals.

Caroline stuck her tongue out. "Don't even go there Elena. Do you not remember how you and Stefan were?"

"Oh please, we weren't that bad." I laughed as my cheeks became a rosy pink.

Caroline, Matt, and even Damon scoffed. "Those long kisses." Caroline spoke up.

"Staring into each other's souls." Matt said sarcastically.

"And the eye-fucking." Damon laughed and two yeses followed.

"Alright! Alright! I get it." I put my hands to my ears and willed them to change the subject.

The rest of the night went just as well as the first half. I was overly pleased with Damon's behavior and actually enjoyed having around when he wasn't being an asshole. After I said my goodbyes to the couple, Damon and I found ourselves sitting on the front steps of his house.

"I'm really happy to have you back Damon."

Damon grinned at me and a guilty looked shrouded with face. "We should've never left. We should've found another way to protect you. A way that would've allowed us to still be near you. Or at least Stefan."

"I never once blamed you two for leaving."

Damon looked away and I could see the pain in his eyes. He ran his fingers through his shaggy hair and glanced at his watch. "You should get home. I don't want to give Jenna another reason to hate me."

"She doesn't hate you." I told Damon, but his eyes arched knowingly. "Okay, maybe she hates you a little." I laughed and followed into Damon into his car. "Thanks for tonight."

"Thank you, Elena."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"For me giving me another chance. You've given me so many and every single time I mess up. I think seeing the possibility that Klaus could really hurt you put things into prospective for me." Damon skillfully rounded the curb. "I don't even know why you still talk to me. I've been such an indecent guy."

"You've been through a lot and I get why you act the way you act sometimes. I just hope that one day you'll get over the fact that Katherine screwed you over and realize there are people that love you. Just because one girl didn't choose you doesn't mean there won't be one who wants you and just you."


	5. Chapter 5

"Wake up." A pair of hands shook me back and forth.

After having my eyes adjust to the light I saw Jeremy standing above me, his head still sporting the bed head look. "Jenna wants us to eat breakfast as a family." He groaned and used air quotes around the word family.

"I'll be right down." I replied grumpily and threw the covers back over my head. I was sensing this new breakfast as a family thing was due to Damon's return. The rest of my school week had consisted of me attending classes and then heading over to the Salvatore's right after.

Every time I came home I could sense Jenna's growing anger, but I hated being away from Damon's side. Whenever I wasn't near him I feared he'd run off again.

Wrapping a blanket around my shoulders, I finally headed downstairs and smelt pancakes along with bacon. Jenna usually cooked a nice breakfast every saturday, but never this nice. Once I arrived in the kitchen I could see the piles of food and a placid look on Jenna's face. "Morning." I greeted her groggily and took my usual seat.

"Hello Elena. I'm so glad you could greet us with your presence." Jenna's placid look now receded into an annoyed one. She sloppily placed two eggs on a plate and took the seat beside me. "Are you sure you don't want to run off with Damon now?"

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed a pancake. Sometimes it felt like Jenna was the teenager. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Can we not argue?" Jeremy piped up and slunk further down into his chair.

Jenna shot Jeremy a look, but didn't say anything. She furiously stabbed at the eggs on her plate and was trying so hard not to say anything. After a few minutes she finally broke and turned towards me. "I'm worried Elena. You're getting too attached to him."

"You're just saying that because it's Damon. He's not a bad guy."

"Elena, he's a vampire. He's dangerous and can kill in a second."

"Alaric told you not to worry. He would never hurt me."

Jenna didn't look convinced and I could see had been waiting to badger me about Damon all week. I was pretty sure that if it was Stefan in Damon's position she wouldn't be worrying. I just wish she'd understand that Damon was different. There was so much more to him. His dark demeanor was just some facade.

"I just worry about all this." Jenna's eyes fell the floor. "I mean you can understand where I'm coming from."

"Of course I do." I told Jenna and gave a deep sigh. "Trust me though, Jenna. Please."

Jenna shook her head and seemed to be debating on what to do. "I'll try my hardest, but ..." She closed her eyes with frustration and then seemed to accept the idea that she'd never be able to change my mind. "Let's just have a nice breakfast."

x - x - x

"Guess whose been a good boy?" Damon smiled with mystery after I got into his car around noon.

"What'd you do?" I asked with apprehension.

"You say that as I could've killed someone?"

"Damon..." I narrowed my eyes at him. I really hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid or cruel. If Alaric told Jenna anything bad about Damon then I was sure she'd lock me inside the house.

After breakfast I had gotten her to accept my situation a little more, but I felt that I'd never get through to her completely. It partly bothered me that Jenna's taste in men had never been good and now she was taking her personal experiences to judge Damon.

"I spoke to Caroline just like you asked." He smiled genuinely at me before making a unexpected right. "By the way, we're going to Bonnie's."

"Why?"

"I want to see if could help contact Stefan."

"Really?" My face lit up with excitement and hopefulness. "Do you think it'll work?"

"We'll see." He shrugged his shoulders. "Anyway, back to Caroline. So, I talked to her, gave her some tips. As much as she tried resisting my help I finally got through to her. I actually feel kind of good about myself. I think this whole nice guy thing could really work for me."

I grinned with delight to see Damon was truly changing and being a decent guy. "Thank you, really."

Damon pulled into Bonnie's driveway and shut the car off. "Yeah, well, don't get used to it." He gave is signature grin and walked up to the front step.

Without even a knock, Bonnie opened the door and looked annoyed with his arrival. "What do you need?" She asked with bitterness, but quickly calmed when she noticed me. "Oh, hi Elena."

"Hey Bonnie."

"We need help." Damon casually flung his shoulder over my arm. "Remember that whole paper thing you did with Elena. Well, kinda need you to do that again."

"I can't." Bonnie quickly stated. "It's not that I don't to. I'd like to find Stefan and all, but lately somethings been off."

Damon furrowed his brow. "Is there anything else you could do? Something that would require as much effort?"

Bonnie looked at me and I could tell she saw the plea in the face. I wanted nothing more than to find Stefan and she could see that. After starting to date Jeremy, Bonnie had been sucking up to me. I knew she still felt bad about dating my younger brother, but I was happy for her. After having a hard year she deserved to find someone that loved her. "I'll try." She concluded. "Meet me here tomorrow, same time. I think there might be one spell I could try. Wait here." She walked back into her house and came back holding a piece of paper. "I need you to get this though." She gave the sheet to Damon and went on to explain how it could help with the spell.

x - x - x

"This is pretty." Caroline pulled out a shirt from my closet and held it up to her. "I want to host dinner party." She said with enthusiasm before slipping on my top. Caroline and I were in my bedroom relaxing. Damon had insisted that he got whatever plant Bonnie needed alone.

Rolling my eyes at Caroline's comment I continued to paint my nails. I was used to Caroline's impulsive thoughts that I often just discarded them.

"I'm serious Elena!" Caroline lied beside me on the bed and nestled her head in a pillow. "Sure Caroline." I giggled and let the polish dry. "So, I heard things with Damon went well."

"They surprisingly did." Caroline became serious and sat up. "He's changed. A lot."

"Yeah, I'm glad. He's really changing for the better and whatever his assentive has been ... well, I'm not going to question it."

"His assentive is you." My face contorted into a confused expression as Caroline nodded with certainty. "Seven months ago I would've said Damon could never care about someone, never love someone. But now ... Well, now he does."

"What are you trying to say Caroline?"

"I'm saying that he loves you."

When Katherine had returned to Mystic Falls he had kissed her thinking it was me. A few times he slightly confessed he had feelings, even Isobel had said he loved me, but I thought little of it. Damon was Damon and I knew he cared about me, but loved me. I always assumed he'd love me in a way because I was Stefan's. Because I was something he couldn't have, because I was Katherine he didn't have.

"Elena, he's completely head-over-heels in love with you. The way his eyes light up when he talks about you, it almost makes him seem human."

"You're wrong." I insisted. "He loves me like a sister."

Caroline laughed and rolled her eyes. "Are you really that oblivious Elena? Did he go to Bonnie today?" She asked and I gave her a yes. "He admitted to me that he wants to find Stefan more than anything right now because he's afraid of his feelings. He's afraid the more Stefan isn't here, the more he's falling for you."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked with confusion. "I'm sure Damon would not be happy to know your saying this."

"I'm telling you this because you love him too."

"What?" I practically yelled and got off the bed. I now started pacing back and forth, not able to handle all this stuff Caroline was saying. Love Damon? What was she trying to get at. Sure, Damon was like my ... my ... I didn't know what he was to me. Brother seemed such an inappropriate word use, but he was nothing more than that.

I loved Stefan. I told Damon it would always be Stefan.

"Don't you find it weird you didn't ask Bonnie to use magic to find Stefan? And don't even deny it Elena. At the grill the other night, I could just taste the chemistry between the two of you."

"You don't know what you're talking about." I said with defiance.

"But I do." Caroline's voice was calm that it only made me more agitated. "Elena ..."

"I don't love Damon like that. I don't."

"Okay, whatever you wish to believe Elena." Caroline took off my top she was wearing, slipped on her own and grabbed her bag. "I didn't come here to argue with you about this. I just want you to be careful. Damon's more fragile then you think. If you truly think you don't love him then stop leading him on."

"How am I leading him on?"

"You don't realize how you act around him. You're so comfortable with him that you don't realize it. The effect he has on you and the effect you have on him ... it's screwing with both your heads."

I shook my head not believing one word Caroline was saying right now. "You-just-" I could think or speak straight, she was getting me so heated. "I don't love him like that."

"Right. I'm just going to leave and let you process all of this."

Caroline left me in such a state of mixed emotions that I didn't know what to do. So many questions began to fill my mind. So many thoughts, so many maybes and what ifs.

Did Damon really love me as much as Caroline claimed? And my effect on him? His effect on me? Was I really that blinded by happiness of Damon's return not see what could be right in front of me?


	6. Chapter 6

The rain was really starting to fall now and after shutting the car off, I made a sprint towards the door. Jenna had asked me to pick up laundry detergent and paper towels which I was more than happy to do for her. After Caroline had discussed Damon's feelings with me I was willing to do anything that would distract me.

All afternoon Damon had been calling me, but I just ignored his attempts to reach me. I still wasn't sure how I felt about Damon's apparent feelings. A few months ago I knew Damon loved me and I was able to accept it, but now … For some reason this time it hit me differently. With Stefan around I could just shut off any emotional attachment with Damon because all I needed was Stefan, but now things were different. Now I relied on Damon, I needed him so much more than I had ever needed Stefan. It scared me.

"Elena!"

Just as I was about to open the front door I saw Damon sitting on my porch chair looking surprised and angry. His hair was damp along with his clothes and the look in his solid blue eyes made me take a few steps back. "What are you doing here?" I yelled above the rain.

"Why haven't you been answering my calls?"

"I was busy." My voice became almost inaudible with the rain pouring down and I quickly diverted my eyes as soon as I knew Damon could tell I was lying. "Sorry, I've just been running errands and stuff."

Damon gave me a questioning look and grabbed the plastic bag out of my hand. "You ignored my calls for cleaning supplies? God Elena, I was so worried." His eye narrowed on me. "You do realize I went off to get something so we could get _your_ boyfriend back. Didn't you think maybe the calls were important?"

"It couldn't have been that important if you didn't text me or leave a voicemail."

"That's not the point Elena." Damon handed the bag back and grabbed my shoulder. "What's going on? Why were you really ignoring my calls?" I could tell he was starting to feel hurt by the discovery that my attempts at ignoring him had nothing to do with being kidnapped or hurt, but just out of not wanting to talk to him. "Actually, let me guess. Now that the possibility of reaching Stefan is in our reach you're done with me, right? Stefan will be back in no time so why bother talking to me anymore? I mean once he's back things will just return to the ways they always were."

"Damon.."

"It's fine." Damon held up his hand to silence me. "I get it. I think I'm going to leave once we find Stefan anyway. I promised that I wouldn't leave you and I will keep my promise, but once he's back, I'm gone." His eyes locked with mine and for a few seconds I didn't know what to do … what to say.

Even with Stefan back I needed Damon. In the past week I had grown so accustomed to him. His humor, his smile, our banter, it was something I never wanted to give up. I knew that everything he was saying right now he meant. That if I didn't stop him now, he would truly leave.

Damon headed into the rain, but before he got too far I ran after him and gripped his arm. "Wait." I begged. Turning around Damon looked at me with such sadness that there was only one thing I could do. In one quick second my lips fell upon his. In that one quick second I knew that things would be different.

The kiss wasn't just to get him to stay. It was so much more.

I tilted my head to the side and felt Damon's fingers get tangled in my hair. Pulling him in closer, I tugged at Damon's neck not believing how great it felt to kiss Damon. I never wanted to let go and I probably could've have kept on going all night, but Damon pushed me away. His eyes were bright and a mix of confusion flashed within. "You kissed me."

I nodded, my brain still wasn't able to process anything. The rain was starting to seep through my clothes and I shivered as the wind picked up. "Don't leave Damon. You can't, I won't let you." My fingers reached out towards his, but Damon back away. "You can't leave."

"Once Stefan's here you won't even realize I'm gone."

"Of course I will!" My voice became loud and I reached out for Damon's hand once again, this time my fingers interlocked in his. "I didn't kiss you to make you stay, I kissed you to show you how I feel."

"You don't mean that Elena. You think you love me because I'm all you have." Damon stared at our hands meshed together. "Don't mess things up."

My mouth became agape and I just stared at Damon with disbelief. I was finally coming to terms with my feelings for him and this is how he was acting. I had suspected so much more. Once I kissed him I thought things would result in him admitting his love, our realization that maybe we belonged together all along. But this? My stomach started aching and I couldn't believe what he was saying. "I love you Damon because … because you're you not because Stefan's not here." I squeezed my hand around Damon as I felt his grip loosen. "Don't _you_ mess things up. I know you love me Damon and yes, it's taken Stefan's absence for me to realize that I love you as well, but that doesn't matter."

Damon forcefully removed his hand from my grip and shook his head with defiance. "You say that now, but once Stefan returns you'll realize how you love him, not me. It's never me Elena and it will never be me, you even said that."

"I can't believe you're doing this!" I started to cry, I couldn't help it. It had taken me so long to admit it to myself and to Damon, but now that I did he was just pushing me away and I had no idea why. Damon mumbled something about taking off because we had a long day tomorrow with Bonnie. As he started walking away again I became furious and wiped the tears furiously away. "I hate you Damon Salvatore! I hate you!"

I stood in the rain for a few more minutes trying to control myself before stepping inside. I finally managed to get myself together and headed inside. The warmth enveloped me and I stripped off my damp jacket and soaked shoes. "I'm leaving the bag on the stairs." I called to Jenna hoping she wouldn't try talking to me because I knew she'd suspect something was wrong when she saw my tear-stained face.

"Thanks." She called back and I ran up to my room.

After slipping into pajamas, I huddled under the covers and let myself cry again. I had never felt this heartbroken before.


End file.
